When I was about 10, we got a kitty from somewhere or someone that we actually burdened ourselves with when it came to naming. No name was cute enough for the kitten, so we postponed the ‘baptism’ until… until it became a full-grown cat.
The whole time, we called it “Pusa”, which is Filipino for what else?
It is a tough job to name a kitten, what more your own kid?
Some people take this with a grain of salt, maybe they are blessed enough to have an arsenal of names to choose from. Others really wreck their brains creating anagrams of hunting for meaningful names (guilty as charged). Idols, close relatives, pop icons--- anything goes for us, liberty is fully expressed, and the carnival opens its doors.
My firstborn is a girl: Rocio (Marian name because she was born in October) Camille (her Dad’s choice) Helena (the royal name, after all, she is a queen.) She was born in the year of the 9-11 attacks, 2001.
The boy in the room next to ours, born on the same day as Rocio, was named Osama (yes, like Bin Laden.)
From my internet readings, some people even name their kids after nature, like the folks of Joaquin Phoenix, whose siblings are Rain, Leaf--- and of course, the late River. I also came across a nature-name combination: Rainbow Sunshine. If I were ever forced to bestow a nature-name, it would be Thunder, and it would be for a big dog. By the way, one of my neighbors is named Xyclone, and I have mistakenly called him Cyclops once, so this is clearly not for me.
Back to my net readings, there was even this example of twins named Tadea (today) and Tamarra (tomorrow.) This is quite witty, but actually tackier in the long run. Names are not very favorable when they are difficult to spell or pronounce. For instance, my childhood friend Fleurbelle was often called Doorbell. My name is Gisele, just like the supermodel, but growing up before Miss Bundchen’s influence put me in situations where I was easily dismissed as Liezel, Michelle, Diesel (yes, the crude oil), and for some odd reason, Janice. As you can see, the name game is more complicated than you think.
Don’t get me wrong, though, I am so in love with my name. It’s just that many people are, for lack of a better description, lacking in sophistication.
Some are too sophisticated for ordinary names, though, that they have to make up their own. Rumer Glenn is one of Demi Moore’s daughters. Pilot Inspector is somebody’s child, I don’t know who, and maybe I don’t want to know anyway. Usually, you have rockstars adapting new names for themselves like Slash, Sting, Axl Rose, Eminem… but to have a baby being called Ludacris or Puff Daddy or Notorious B-I-G is just insane. These are not real names; people should not be called by names that are not really for people.
It’s cool if you just like the sound of a name and don’t even bother researching about it, but think about what your kid would go through with your choice. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that a kid named Jingle or Twinkie would have a hard time with childhood jeers and, eventually, corporate disrespect.
Here are some of my picks for the worst ‘real’ names parents could actually pick for their kids.
Boys:
Gaylord
Thank you, Ben Stiller.
The whole time, we called it “Pusa”, which is Filipino for what else?
It is a tough job to name a kitten, what more your own kid?
Some people take this with a grain of salt, maybe they are blessed enough to have an arsenal of names to choose from. Others really wreck their brains creating anagrams of hunting for meaningful names (guilty as charged). Idols, close relatives, pop icons--- anything goes for us, liberty is fully expressed, and the carnival opens its doors.
My firstborn is a girl: Rocio (Marian name because she was born in October) Camille (her Dad’s choice) Helena (the royal name, after all, she is a queen.) She was born in the year of the 9-11 attacks, 2001.
The boy in the room next to ours, born on the same day as Rocio, was named Osama (yes, like Bin Laden.)
From my internet readings, some people even name their kids after nature, like the folks of Joaquin Phoenix, whose siblings are Rain, Leaf--- and of course, the late River. I also came across a nature-name combination: Rainbow Sunshine. If I were ever forced to bestow a nature-name, it would be Thunder, and it would be for a big dog. By the way, one of my neighbors is named Xyclone, and I have mistakenly called him Cyclops once, so this is clearly not for me.
Back to my net readings, there was even this example of twins named Tadea (today) and Tamarra (tomorrow.) This is quite witty, but actually tackier in the long run. Names are not very favorable when they are difficult to spell or pronounce. For instance, my childhood friend Fleurbelle was often called Doorbell. My name is Gisele, just like the supermodel, but growing up before Miss Bundchen’s influence put me in situations where I was easily dismissed as Liezel, Michelle, Diesel (yes, the crude oil), and for some odd reason, Janice. As you can see, the name game is more complicated than you think.
Don’t get me wrong, though, I am so in love with my name. It’s just that many people are, for lack of a better description, lacking in sophistication.
Some are too sophisticated for ordinary names, though, that they have to make up their own. Rumer Glenn is one of Demi Moore’s daughters. Pilot Inspector is somebody’s child, I don’t know who, and maybe I don’t want to know anyway. Usually, you have rockstars adapting new names for themselves like Slash, Sting, Axl Rose, Eminem… but to have a baby being called Ludacris or Puff Daddy or Notorious B-I-G is just insane. These are not real names; people should not be called by names that are not really for people.
It’s cool if you just like the sound of a name and don’t even bother researching about it, but think about what your kid would go through with your choice. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that a kid named Jingle or Twinkie would have a hard time with childhood jeers and, eventually, corporate disrespect.
Here are some of my picks for the worst ‘real’ names parents could actually pick for their kids.
Boys:
Gaylord
Thank you, Ben Stiller.
I love the gay community,
but I know even they wouldn't use this name.
Bubba
This name always comes with the accent.
It’s like d-uh. with a B.
d’Artagnan
We love the musketeers,
but this name should really be left
in the golden times.
Dorcus
Sounds European. European dork.
Dick
Oh… you are such a--- bleep!
Judas
I bet you’ll never name your own kid Judas.
Girls:
Blandina
I’ve been using this name in my
jokes as a stupid teenager.
Bertha
Always sounds big, old, and giving birth-a.
Talulah
Sexy to some, but just ridiculous to me.
Latrina
Research proves that this name is derived
from latrine. That’s a toilet.
Bo
This is not even a name.
Are you trying to scare anyone?
Candida
Very popular among the elderly;
thank God Albans is not a popular Pinoy surname.
Bubba
This name always comes with the accent.
It’s like d-uh. with a B.
d’Artagnan
We love the musketeers,
but this name should really be left
in the golden times.
Dorcus
Sounds European. European dork.
Dick
Oh… you are such a--- bleep!
Judas
I bet you’ll never name your own kid Judas.
Girls:
Blandina
I’ve been using this name in my
jokes as a stupid teenager.
Bertha
Always sounds big, old, and giving birth-a.
Talulah
Sexy to some, but just ridiculous to me.
Latrina
Research proves that this name is derived
from latrine. That’s a toilet.
Bo
This is not even a name.
Are you trying to scare anyone?
Candida
Very popular among the elderly;
thank God Albans is not a popular Pinoy surname.
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